Cancer and Christ

“Part of the reason the Savior suffered in Gethsemane was so that he would have an infinite compassion for us as we experience our trials and tribulations. Through his suffering in Gethsemane, the Savior became qualified to be the perfect judge. Not one of us will be able to approach him on the Judgment Day and say, ‘You don’t know what it was like.’ He knows the nature of our trials better than we do, for he ‘descended below them all.’”

I am so grateful for my knowledge of the Savior and His sacrifice for me. As a young woman, I thought the atonement just applied to our sins. As I grew up, and wound up in an abusive marriage, I was so grateful to find out that it not only was for our sins, but for EVERY trial we endure, every tragedy we face, and every pain we feel. It was the knowledge that as bad as my life was, the Lord knew how it felt, and He was there to pour my heart out to.

Now, as I struggle with the effects of chemotherapy, I have once again been reminded that no matter how sick I am, how much pain I'm in, or how much I want to give up, my Savior knows EXACTLY how I feel, and if I just ask Him to help carry my burden, He will lift me up and make this load lighter to carry.

Recently a good friend of mine, who struggles with horrible back pain, said that as she was suffering one day, she kept saying "I hurt so much", but then realized that simple statement was making her 'own' her pain. As much as this earthly experience is a test and a trial, it is still an EXPERIENCE. She decided to change her way of thinking. Instead of saying "I hurt" she now says "I'm experiencing pain". She is not owning that pain anymore, but experiencing it, and all experiences are for our own good.

I thought that was a great way of thinking about it, and so I decided to start changing my way of thinking. I have started to use "I am experiencing pain" instead of my normal whine about hurting. This is all for 'my good', right? There is a lesson in all of this. All of my experiences over the next year will be part of the Lord's plan for my life. My goal is to experience it without too much whining and complaining, and with a whole lot of prayer to ask the Lord to help me understand just what it is I'm experiencing and what it is I am to learn from it.